Light Saber
The Light Saber is an ancient weapon that has been used by most great liberators in recorded history. It was first discovered in 10,000 BC by Yoda when the Force told him to create it. ''From Light saber'' .]] The light saber is the coolest weapon to ever exist. Used by Yoda, Stephen Colbert, the Baby Jesus, and all haters of Chuck Norris, this weapon is intended to wipe out all enemies of truthiness. The light saber, or as Yoda calls it, "The Saberlight," is a weapon of light. It kills the enemies of truthiness because they hide in darkness. With absolutely no training at all, you too can own your very own light saber by sending $5.99 plus shipping and handling to Stephen Colbert, The Colbert Report, New York City. Then you too can continue the fight for truthiness. History Yoda spent 300 years in the wilderness learning how to weild the awesome power of the light saber. He nearly died twelve times, but was saved every time by mighty saber-cats, the ancient decendants of kittens. In this time he slayed 3 million bears and one shark ending the bears reign of earth. Once he had mastered his mighty saber powers, the force decided it was time for him to train. Whom ever made these Stupiod remarks is an Idiot. and should be beaten with the butt of a Lightsaber and then Stabbed repeated in the legs,arms,and then finialy severing the head and putting it on a Pike as a warning to all. The First Jedi The First Jedi were created by the Force. They were sent to Yoda via the internets (through the series of tubes) and were named Obi and Wan. Obi and Wan underwent much great training, they learned the magical powers of the force and were taught by Yoda to defent freedom and kill bears. Obi Obi was very studious and followed Yoda's teachings without fail and never questioned his teachings so when it came time for Yoda to give the saber to the next generation of Jedi, he chose Obi and the master and Wan as the apprentice. Wan Wan was not as studious and more curious about the world and wanted to know more about this Force thing. So when Yoda chose to give the saber to Obi, Wan went off on his own and befriended a Wookiee named Chewbacca. He and Chewbacca roamed the earth searching for the meaning of the Force. The Battle One day, Obi saw Wan and, after many years apart went to embrace his long lost brother. Chewbacca ,not recognizing Obi, jumped in front of Wan and shielded him from Obi. Obi, thinking the hairy beast to be a bear, slayed him immediately; however, when Obi killed Chewbacca, the powers of the mighty Wokkie changed Obi making him sadistic. He only thought about killing men and he turned on his brother. Obi and Wan fought for seven years and when it was over, Wan was victorious and took the light saber to train the Light Side of the Force. Obi, having knowledge of how light sabers were created, build his own crude, red-bladed model and trained a new side of the Force, the Dark Side. Yoda was deeply saddened by this and was very distraught and so he fled to Degobah and lived there until the one found him. Obi said that this wikipedia page was a bunch of bull shit and that he will slice the maker of it with his light saber! The continuing battle The battle rages today with those who believe in freedom and good against those oppressors of freedom and evil. It will continue until the one returns to unite them all.